It’s a poor sort of memory – said the white queen to Alice – the type that only works backwards
this one isn’t about me, but someone I know. I have never reached this lofty height of hyper focus and obsession with a guy ( tho I have had moments )
She hasn’t got BPD but not sure what she has got. Some kind of personLity disorder for sure and ADHD.
Now I happen to be in the middle as I know both parties and it’s quite scary to see this behaviour I had mini varieties of up close and personal.
Basically this guy and this girl were friends. We shall call them John and Bea
Then through Beas own obsessions, desires, malignant behaviour and self sabotage she has destroyed this friendship to a point he now blocks her and is in a state of high anger and anxiety.
So our tragic tale of love and obsession begins;
Once upon a time there was a young lady called Bea. She had a gorgeous brood of children and loving and supportive parents and a few really good friends
She struggled sometimes as she liked to be in control and showed little appreciation or empathy to anyone. Even her own children.
Her mind was obsessive and she needed to get her own way to be happy.
She had a long distance friend, a nice man, John. He was friendly and chatty but she had no romantic interest in him at all. She expressed this very clearly to lots of people.
In fact she was still chasing after her ex, a married man.
So one day Bea and her friend met up with John and that’s when the issues started ….
Beas friend and John got on well, as friends and Bea didn’t like this.
She threw a spectacular tantrum, ranting, raving and storming out screaming.
She accused her friend of stealing the man she wanted and ever since she has convinced herself she always fancied him and her friend was a Succubus who “mugged her off” with pure treachery and stole her man
There was no reasoning with Bea and she cut herself off from her friend and John.
Silently stalking profiles and sending vile venom filled texts to me about them
She refused to talk to either of them to clarify any issues and in her head this innocent incident turned into a vile misdeed against her of epic proportions.
She started leaving nAsty messeges to both and finally when she was blocked she started sending texts to John that she was going to hurt herself and needed help.
Of course she didn’t she was also texting me constantly, there was and is no reasoning with her.
After a month of this I have told her “to let it go” move on. I’ve tried explaining how John may be feeling but she can’t understand how anyone except herself feels.
She won’t let it go.
It’s all she thinks Bout
It’s all she talks about
This is now a totally false memory in her head now. Far from the innocent encounter it was.
I feel it is her lack of control and hyper concentration that has left her so obsessed and blinded to any other event or people in her life.
It must be a terrible place to be but I don’t feel sympathy for her as she would never ever feel sympathy for Anyone else.
She continues now to send vile epic messeges to John who is very confused and hurt by the whole thing.