Dont let me put anyone off any type, different things work for different people x
“I didn’t think…” “Then you shouldn’t talk” said the Hatter – Alice
I was 17. I was walking back from a night club and said ta ra to my friend about half way home.
It was a walk I had done many time at night and was safe.
I don’t know what made me look behind me as I was crossing a mini bridge near an alleyway, but I did and saw a guy jogging.
I thought it strange he was so quiet but carried on.
As I passed the alley, I was roughly grabbed from behind and a knife held to my mouth
“Scream and I’ll kill you”
Now, I’m an awkward cow ( thankfully) and the only thought going through my head was – no way is he raping me.
So I screamed, and I fought and I struggled and eventually got free. I ran in front of a car to try get it to help…. But it swerved me and drive on
I ran home with cuts and bruises ….
So I was really paranoid after about walking ANYWHERE. I would take stupid long detours if anyone was behind me.
So I went to see the school counsellor ( I was in sixth form)
I told her what had happened.
She asked about my parents.
I said it’s not about my parents I got attacked and now I’m paranoid…
She asked about my school work…
( was a listening based counselling but she was shit shit shit. CBT would have been best thing for me)
And then… The icing on the cake.. She told my school teacher!!!!!
I walked out and never went back ( from sixth form)
Second therapy; counselling again.
She sat there in silence waiting for me to talk. I sat there in silence waiting for her to ask something.
Got more and more awkward then I got a anxious…. So only saw her twice.
Third therapy; CBT
This was good, it did help. I had a guy too which was just as well lol
Though he was young and inexperienced and couldn’t get me to talk lots.
Plus I told him I fancied him but it was just transference so it was ok ( CRINGE)
And therapist 4, current one.hes older got a masters and teaches master students.
I chose psychoanalytical as I need something more in depth and the therapist more asking stuff.
He’s also cbt trained so quite good.
Though I do argue with him a lot and sometimes I deliberatly ignore his ques the session is over cos I haven’t finished speaking 😉