Borderline Love

This is an area in which people with BPD struggle intensely. 

We usually have a train wreck of relationships, broken marriages, unsuitable, unavailable partners, and also more prone to being hooked in by controlling, narcissistic or dependent partners.  

Many factors ensure maximum chaos and destruction in a BPD relationship. 

*Out of control emotions

These can push people away when we become obsessively jealous, have fire fueled rages, deep depression, low self esteem, pschosis or overwhelming with all our love

*Push Pull

Adoration and devaluation when doubt creeps in our mind. From all consuming love to cold apathy in seconds. 

*Paranoia of abandonment  

Jealousy, excessive texts, calls, out of control emotions, psychosis, to the extreme of stalking, accusations etc

*To fill the emptiness inside

This is why we can be more prone to falling for other cluster B personality disorders, narcistics, controlling, manipulative people.

We need to feel wanted, huge amounts of love to stop the paranoia and emotiness. We tend to overlook all faults to maintain our “fairy tale love” fantasy.

The alternative seems too scary.

*Self harm, suicidal thoughts;

This is very very hard for us to deal with and we understand it ( kinda)

To people with no knowledge this is scary and can send people running or end up with a malignant or equally as “damaged” person. Either is no good for us. 

*Impulsiveness- sex

Sometimes we may or may not cheat. 

We may do things without thinking, reckless behaviour, live for the moment.

I will do another post on how to have a healthy relationship. It’s extra hard as many of us don’t know what normal is.  

In brief these things will help;



*having our own lives, activities to be happy in ourselves. 

*recognising red flags to bad relationships.

Animals as therapy

I think a pet can be really helpful and improve times of lonliness and increase happiness.

Especially dogs, I got 3 cats and they like a stroke but they are quite narcisstic lol

They have trained mental health dogs in the states I think, much like guide dog, but it’s not come across the pond yet.

Though I think dogs are naturally loving and good without special training.

Obviously you need to think about it carefully!!! You got to be able to fufill all the dogs needs… Not your own.

So if you are considering one here’s some points to consider:

Are you manic – do not buy a dog !

Are you stable enough to provide basic needs and care?

Have you been thinking about it for a good length of time and really thought about the responsibility

If you work long hours best not get one ( in my opinion) unless someone is at home

What size dog for your accommodation

Type of dog, the personality and temperament

The care needs of the dog – best not get a super active dog that needs 5 walks a day if u are in bed most of the time!

Can you afford to look after it properly?  Vaccinations, working, flea treatment, vet bills, food, grooming etc

Are you well enough to look after it and cope with the responsibility?

Do you have someone who would look after it when you go away?

Consider a rescue dog if you have no young kids or cats lol

Do you have experience with dog ownership? If not research all you can

Don’t buy from a puppy farm

Mix breeds tend to have less health problems then pedigrees

Get it neutered or spayed!

So after considering these and thinking bout it I have waited 2 years before finally putting down a deposit on a puppy yesterday.

I couldn’t get one before as I was working long hours, then I was too ill.

I have had dogs before.

I chose little Lottie here 🙂 a small dog smaller than my cats when full grown. I will collect her at 8 weeks old at end of month. And I cannot wait!!!!

Panic time with therapist…

So after spending forever choosing a therapist, I was growing increasingly paranoid he hadn’t replied for 2 weeks about our next session!!

I was having the most insane thoughts and images

He thinks I’m annoying so he’s ignoring me

He thinks I’m too fucked up to help

He thinks I fancy him so is avoiding

He’s a rude, arrogant, unprofessional wankstain and I will drive to his house and out spiders in his pillow cases

But then I remembered cbt and to rely on FACTS not emotions.

So thought

It’s been Xmas and he’s got 4 kids so prob busy

Maybe just turned work phone off for couple weeks break

So the old me would have:

Sent a ranting, angry, badly spelt email, dumping him as therapist and accusing him of misconduct and all kind of evil punishments 😉

New me, I calmly typed a nice polite email and I mentioned I was concerned and how it had made me feel ( you got to be honest with your therapist guys)

But it was all very grown up.

Yay me!

And he did reply so meeting next week