just a quick early childhood info
About a very influential man in my life.
“My dad- he’s not my dad anymore”
Yes. I think a lot of the psychological issues have stemmed from him.
My repeated behaviours throughout life etc.
He was ok when I was born -12 as my mum had an old school doctor who gave her antipsychotics to drug his tea 3 times a day.
On this he was eccentric but held down a job as policeman, used to be a fantastic dad, always doing stuff with us, reading stories etc. He loved walks and cycled 20 miles reguarly
Then the doctor retired and obviousky mum couldn’t get her hands on the covert drugs anymore.
Over the next year he was “pensioned” off the police force for odd behavior,
Stopped all excercise and retreated into himself.
He would burn any fantasy books he found of mine as they “were evil” and destroyed my dragon ornaments.
He started drawing symbols on walls each night and mum, every morning had to repaint the wall.
He would barricade the doors with furniture, and would shout at us for no reason.
That went on for 10 years then he stopped washing, got really fat and drinking lots.
Refused doctors and attacked one as was “trying to steal his blood”
He hadn’t spoken to any of us in years. Only to shout.
Then he started getting violent, was sleeping for 3 days at a time then when awake would be at night.
He threw a knife at my sisters food and cut her, tried to strangle mum so I had to club him over head with saucepan, and just got worse and worse and worse….
But he died suddenly when was 59 and to be honest it was a relief.