It would be so nice if something made sense for a change – Alice
Forgive me if not everything is entirely accurate, I am still learning. These blogs are just my own opinions and experiences.
Borderlines have a fair few cognitive distortions ( see the post – mini CBT lesson)
But one notorious one for us is “black and white thinking”
This is where We see people as either being Good or bad. Events as good or bad. Within that there is a process known as Splitting.
We can do this to seperate a person into two. Eg of a parent.
One view of the parent will be fantasy style wonderful with no flaws, the other evil and dark.
This is shown by imagery in many many many films.
The good guy, the bad guy. The good witch, the evil witch. The good queen the evil queen.
There is never a guy who is ” mostly good but also a bit naughty sometimes “
Within romantic relationships we can switch from seeing the partner as good to evil.
When good, we idolise them, they are perfect and have no flaws. We don’t see any malignant behaviour.
Then when something happens to trigger our negative emotions they flick to the bad guy. This is when we exhibit the push pull behaviour. Push away when bad, lose feelings, detest. The pull in again when good. Over and over. Very confusing!
We see every flaw magnified, imagine flawS, paranoia, they are the devil incarnate.
It’s hard to learn to get a middle ground. When someone makes a mistake our perfect view of them is shattered and they become bad.
We apply it to ourselves as well.
My feelings are either good or bad. Very seldom do I have middle feelings.
Obviously our own understanding of good and bad comes from our upbringing and life experiences.
There’s also splicing &Projection but more on those later.