Medication Time!

I have been taking various anti deoressents for 16 years and reffered to mental health team on a number of occosions.

I insisted they weren’t helping with the impulses and manic and anxiety and panic, but I was discharged. 

CBT help a bit with negative thoughts and I do reccomend that one. It’s non intrusive into your past so it’s not as triggering as other therapies.

So fast forward 14 years later, I finally kick out the abusive ex and all those emotions I have carefully hidden and avoided for 9 years, came tumbling out like an erupting volcano.

My mental health deteriorated and I reached a whole new level of crazy!!!

More on the events of those 2 years later….. It’s bad, really bad. 

Finally in April this year the hyper manic phase stopped, and I crashed from flying through the sky.. Queen of the fucking world… Into catatonic deoression for 4 months.

The first 7 months of 2014 were the worst in my life. 

For 3 months I just slept or watched TV apathetically in bed.

I couldn’t wash, clean my teeth, open post, cook, hell even rolling over took 2 hours of thinking about it first.

After 3 months of not going outside my sister forced me to the doctor.

I got re-reffered to psychiatrist and finally got correct diagnosis and medication. 

This was a whole new world to me, different psychiatric meds. 

But it’s the same meds as for bipolar. 

Because I’m more depressive I got given a super strong anti depressent; venaflaxine

( if you are more manic anti deoressents can send you sky high so watch out)

Then I had an anti psychotic to help the pschosis, paranoia, voices, anxiety and panic.

And finally the last one I got was a mood stabiliser

I have Lamotrigrine. Again this is one a bit more tailored to depression but I’ve found this cocktail has worked for me

slowly, ever so slowly ( like 6 months) I started to improve.

I stopped feeling suicidal all the time, 

I went out once every 2 weeks, then twice, and so on. 

Even now, 8 months on, I’m not how I was. I’m in recovery and it’s been a bloody awful time but I do feel a hell of a lot better than before.

My depressive cycles now last a week-10 days rather than months,,, and I only get the exhausted symptons now, so I sleep a lot and stay in bed. 

My manics.. I’ve had a few super crazy psychotic episodes and paranoid ones, but they are less too. ( if I catch the symotons)

More on these later. 

I also have sedatives as take when required, but all in all I take 8 tablets twice each day now. Suprised I don’t rattle.

It’s a trial and error process with finding the right medication mix. 

What works for one won’t work for another.

I didn’t get on at all with quetiapine, so had it changed, but it works wonders for other people.

Just be kind to yourself, know it will pass and recovery, although slow, will happen xxx

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